10 Things Never Say To A Pregnant Woman

There are many things one should never say to a pregnant woman but all-too-often it seems people cross the delicate line into ‘awkward’ or ‘insulting’ simply because it seems the world is full of experts on anything to do with babies. Here is a list of ten top ‘no-nos’ when it comes to pregnant ladies.

1. “Was this a surprise?”

I find most comments to do with pregnancy, raising babies, or managing your post-pregnancy body and lifestyle is highly personal, and this question is no different. It seems to ask a woman about her contraceptive methods or lack thereof definitely oversteps the mark; unless of course she offers the information herself.

2. “Congratulations! How are you feeling so far? You look exhausted.”

It is generally never a good idea to comment on someone’s state of exhaustion unless done very tactfully with an obvious sympathetic ear. Telling a first-trimester pregnant lady she looks exhausted when she is likely feeling like something the cat dragged in, is probably not the best of ideas.

3. “Is {insert father’s name} excited or…?”

Unless you really want to get into the ins and outs of a couple’s relationship especially during trying to conceive or the pregnancy itself, it is probably not a good idea to ask this question. A simple “How exciting” or “I’m excited for you” will do.

4. “Wow, you’re still wearing that coat when you’re pregnant!”

It’s amazing the number of people who comment in a not-so-flattering way on a pregnant woman’s clothes. Implying she shouldn’t be wearing one of her favorite pieces while being pregnant is akin to saying she looks terrible and it does nothing for her. Definitely a no-no.

5. “Wow, you still have how long to go?”

Not hiding surprise at the size of a woman’s belly and how many weeks she still has until birth can be very upsetting to her already heightened sensitivity about her growing figure.

6. “Oh no, I never had that. Mine was pretty easy”

If a woman is suffering through her entire pregnancy and hears how wonderful and easy other people have had it, a fair bit of tension is to be expected.

7. “Oh don’t worry, you’ll have loads of time once you go on maternity leave”

People who insinuate pregnant ladies are on holiday with ample free time when they begin maternity leave really do deserve a telling-off. They may have the luxury of sleeping in when on leave however they probably also have a list as long as their arm to get through in preparation and everything takes 10 times longer with 10 times less energy.

8. “How will you cope financially? Babies are expensive.”

Implying anything negative about the act of actually being pregnant and having a child is a little void at the stage of talking to a mother-to-be. She is pregnant, it’s too late, and any implication she should have better thought out her actions will only serve to insult her.

9. “You shouldn’t do that. Here, let me help you.”

Unless you’re the baby’s father, the woman’s mother, or someone close to her, mollycoddling her is not going to do you any favors. There are so many things that would be helpful to a pregnant woman so why not just do them quietly without telling her what she should and shouldn’t do.

10. “Good luck!”

This definitely should not be said in a conversation about raising children to a first-time mother. Saying anything other than ‘you’ll do fine’ will certainly confirm to her that she’s embarking on the biggest challenge of her life and everyone else thinks she will struggle without a bit of luck on her side.

In essence, anything said to an expectant mother should be tactful and encouraging. Highlight the things she looks great in or the things she is coping well with and offer support throughout her pregnancy. Sometimes, listening, and eating with her is all she needs.

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